99 problems but your attitude ain't one

I learned a long time ago back in high school when a school friend that we'll call John put me in a bad mood one day because he was in a bad mood and said something really sarcastic. Now, John was not a bad person and usually was funny and approachable, but the point was that I almost carried that bad mood with me all day until I realized I was making his problem MY problem. Why should I walk around upset all day just because he was? Even though what he said bothered me and I couldn't control what he said or did, I didn't have to take ownership of his problem. Now, how does that translate to adulthood?

I've slowly began to accept the idea that if a person has a problem with me that's their problem, not mine. I know, it's not rocket science but it's a hard thing to practice. We all care what people think about us, but we all know that we can't make the whole world happy, fine. Yet, sometimes I'd find myself trying to rationalize why a person isn't nice to me one day when they usually are, or why someone has this imaginary issue with me that each time I see them they avoid eye contact. These mysteries that I debate over in my head are just not that worth it. I've learned to keep it moving. That doesn't mean I don't notice when a person is acting a certain way toward me, but if I attempt to be civil, and know I've done nothing wrong I really don't give a flying vampire bat about it.

You have to learn not to care. That's hard for a person like me who likes genuine relationships, and I'm not a people pleaser but I like to communicate even if briefly with most people. I must say I've even gotten better at small talk (hold the applause).

I've decided to ease the burden off my shoulders and my mind. Of course I care about my reputation and how people view me, but when a person has no reason to have an issue yet creates one with me with passive aggressive antics I choose not to care. If I offend someone or did something wrong bad enough they decide to act like they don't want to be civil, then they can be adult enough to discuss it with me. It's not MY problem even if it's directed at me. Sure, I can address it but I've learned not to make it my issue.

I have TOO many problems to overcome than to take on someone else's problem even if their problem is with me.

Rise of the Planet of the Inconsiderate Movie-Goers

I haven't been to the movies in almost two years. Of course, I've seen many recent movies courtesy of Netflix, but since moving to Philly I haven't actually gone to the theater.

We went Friday to see Rise of the Planet of the Apes. Decent movie, but what was even more painfully entertaining is how I forgot partly why I hate going to the movies. People seem to lose all sorts of etiquette. Now, granted it could have been much worse but here are the lowlights of my movie-going experience.

1. My pet peeve is when there are a plethora of seats yet a group of people decide to make you get up to let them in so they can sit in the middle of your row. I always choose an end seat because I don't want to have to climb over people's laps if I need to leave the theater - some people don't seem to mind that. With dozens of rows left and empty, a couple (who were nice and courteous) proceeded to excuse themselves as they moved their way through to the middle of our row. I wasn't mad, just confused. I like my space, and don't understand why others want to be all next to a stranger.

2. Then fifteen minutes later a group of older women do the same thing only this lady has the nerve to not ask us or say "excuse me" like the couple but the lady stops near our row and says. "I guess we'll have to get in here", then says something else I can't recall of the same nature. Yes, I stalled on letting them in because COMMON courtesy is to say excuse not say some vague sentence in hopes I'll spring up to let you in. All four of y'all were old enough to have manners. Shame on you all.

*Also, I don't know if the lady next to the empty seat in between us was scared of us or what. Usually women leave their purse on the floor (or tucked between their feet, as I do), or casually put it in their lap. This woman was holding onto her purse for dear life. Poor woman, she could not have possibly enjoyed the movie if she felt the need to clutch her purse the whole time.

3. This older man was sitting in front of us the whole time. At one point before the movie began the previews were on so he goes up to a row of dudes that had seated in front of him and apparently tells the guy to put his phone away. When the man returns to his seat he's mumbling something, so I presume he thought the guy was trying to record/bootleg the movie. I don't know if the man worked for the theater or was just nosy. I hope he worked there because if not he really should have minded his business. The guy had a cell phone not a camera, I doubt he was going to capture a master bootleg. Oh, and the other guy told him to mind his (won't right the word on my blog) business. I wasn't hoping it wouldn't spill into drama, it didn't.

4. Sorry, but every time I see a large group of inner-city youth I think flashmob. I live in Philly so I preserve the right to have that thought. Of course the large group of teens enter the theater, loudly so that everyone knows they've stepped in the building. Luckily, they sat nowhere near us. Hey, they're entitled to go to a movie and have fun, but in recently events in this area you do have to be somewhat wary of a large group of teens swarming around.

5. I hate when people clap during the movie at a pivotal moment, or when it's over. I'm not saying people can't show their reaction but I find it kind of cheesy.

All in all, not a bad movie, not a completely bad experience.

It's Bigger than the 27 Club

When reports surfaced that British singer Amy Winehouse had died, it didn't take long before stories circulated comparing her death at 27 to iconic musicians who also died at the same age such as, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, and Kurt Cobain.

Titles like, "Amy Joins the 27 Club: Who Are the Other Members", "Winehouse just latest to musician to die at 27" which permeate the web seem to trivialize the overall seriousness of the situation and fail at the opportunity to go deeper into who the artist was besides the drug-induced antics and rumors that circulated her, in her last years.

We're all just ordinary people

When an artist has talent it becomes hard for some of us to understand why they choose the path of drugs. When an artist has millions, it becomes hard for us on the outside to really understand why they would choose to water down their reputation with pills, crack, or alcohol. The reality may be a tough pill for some to swallow, so here goes: they're humans, they just have a talent they have been able to make money off of. Yes, some artists are extraordinary and unbelievably talented, but nearly everyone has met someone who is extraordinary in their lives, they just may not be famous.

We shouldn't be surprised when celebrities have "normal people problems", and addictions. We wouldn't make fun of the drug addict down the street who struggles with an addition, or an alcoholic in our family, yet when it comes to celebrities it's open season.

Why do some artists not get the chance to truly prove their artistry?

Amy Winehouse was a talented vocalist, bellowing out soulful tunes who quickly moved on the industry radar after her 2003. Her addiction quickly overshadowed her talent and started to sabotage attempts for her to revive her career.

It's easy to celebrate someone more after death than we did while they were alive. There's a reason why today Winehouse's Back to Black moved to the number one spot on iTunes. Some may have been dear fans, while others may want to celebrate the music of a woman whose troubles prevented her from being the star she could have been, and others who never listened to her music may want to experience the music that garnered her so many fans.

Unfortunately, like many artists before her, we tend to nurture their legacy after they're gone and ridicule them while they're alive if they stray from perfection. Now, we'll retire the unflattering, embarrassing photos snapped of Winehouse to be placed on the biggest gossip sites, and replace them with the classier photos of her better days. That's the way the story goes.

As of yet, the cause of death has not been released as a post-mortem examination will be performed today.

Mary J. Blige Just Fine

We all know the story about Mary J. Blige’s harsh beginnings, difficult childhood, and drug abuse that chronicled her personal life in the 90s. While we respect the struggle, we also have grown to love and appreciate the new and refreshed Mary who has traded “I’m going down/ ‘cuz you ain’t around”, and pleading to a man “I can love you better than she can”, for a woman belting out tunes like “no more drama” and “just fine”.

One aspect of Mary that stays true is her genuineness and ability to not get caught in the crazy music industry hype - something most artists are unable to escape. Mary does not sweat the small stuff. Mary is not a R&B songstress who discredits new and talented songstresses, unlike some singers we need not mention, Mary does not feel the need to mimic the younger singers, unlike some singers we need not mention, and most of all, she understands her legend and the power behind it. She doesn’t dilute the formula that made her popular in the first place by trading her image for a new one with each album. If Mary changes, it’s because she actually goes through a transformation, not because someone is behind her pulling the strings. Of course, she has sought out new sounds and tested her abilities to create new music, but all in all, she reigns true to herself.
Mary J. Blige’s new endeavor, a second perfume fragrance following her debut perfume My Life from last year proves she is further branding herself. Unlike some veteran R&B singers, Mary is not focusing on recreating her image with each album, or sounding like a knock off of another singer in the music industry. Perhaps, because she knows that those formulas rarely work. Instead, her formula is expanding her name and focus on other projects where she knows she can excel. She’s using her fame to inspire others to buy her product, and from what it seems, it’s a pretty damn good product. So all other veteran R&B singers, get a pad and take some notes.

Photo via HSN.com

How I Made a Karma Book

I don't throw out greeting cards. Now, that's not to say I know where every card I've ever received is - I don't. When I get new cards I display them; these cards I used are from a few years ago or so. I've wanted to do something creative with the dozens of greeting cards I've received over the years for awhile. Yesterday, I took an empty scrapbook, some edge scissors and cut out inspirational or positive messages people have written me in cards and make some "karma pages".

I didn't cut up ALL my greeting cards as some had very long messages, or had beautiful covers so I creatively incorporated those without cutting anything. I highly reccomend this for anyone who has a bunch of greeting cards and has no idea what to do with them. This took me like about 45 minutes.

My reason for making this is to collect positive words of encouragement and good wishes I've received along with some images for an artistic effect. I call it a Karma Book because it is filled with memories, words of encouragement and messages from some of the closest people to me (and some I was close to at one point in time), and somehow I've connected that with the idea of attracting positivity. You also can use any images or inspirational quotes you live by to fill the pages, I just started with what I already had.

Note: This is super easy. I am by no means a scrapbooker, or expert with arts and crafts, but was able to make it look pretty decent.

Materials: scrapbook 12''12, textured cardstock 12''12, decorative edge scissors, glue stick, and bond glue, greeting cards, old concert stubs, card cover images, etc.

Spicing Up your H2O

I love drinking water. I know some people find it bland or boring but I've never had that problem really though sometimes I do need a little flavor. Unfortunately, a lot of those "flavored" waters like Vitamin Water, (couldn't get enough of these in college!), have more sugar than they should and aren't really stocked with nutrients and vitamins like they claim. Now, I'm not even gonna lie, I occasionally drink Vitamin Water every once in awhile. I also like Arizona Tea Water that claims to be 100% organic tea, but I have always hated those fake tasting flavored waters that taste like water with just some sugar dumped in.

In college, I also got hip to spicing up my water in a natural and healthier way. I'd use a concoction of limes and cucumbers and put them in a pitcher of water (something I once read in an article that Beyonce did). It adds flavor but it also doesn't give that weird aftertaste that some flavored waters give. Sometimes I'd add a slice of lemon instead. It actually reminded me of these really good flavored waters Aldi's used to carry in orange, lemon, and lime that had the perfect balance of water and a hint of flavor.

Anyways, sometimes I really don't feel like chopping up lime and lemon or cucumbers, and unfortunately, sometimes if you leave them in the water for too long it becomes too acidic and not worth drinking anymore. So, as the picture indicates my new best friends for my water are just sprinkling some drops of lemon or lime juice in my water. It's less messy than slicing the limes or lemon and they are very low in calorie; the lime juice has just 1.25 calories per serving.

Cooking Chronicles: Quiche part 2

So, the first time I made a quiche in December it didn't go that smoothly. I think the culprit was that I didn't use real eggs and used egg substitutes (was lazy and didn't feel like getting a regular carton). So once I sliced, diced and threw everything together it took forever for everything to cook and for awhile it was really runny and I had to throw it in the oven to cook more. Despite falling apart a bit when cutting slices, it still came out really good.

Fast forward to June - my last quiche came out perfect. I used 6 real eggs, shredded cheddar cheese, turkey bacon (cooked beforehand), raw mushrooms, and spinach from a can and buttered the pan with a butter substitute and not an oil. It was the perfect texture and consistency, and I was pleasantly surprised after last time's fail. I cooked it for about 35 minutes.

My two cents on making a quiche: don't use fake eggs (unless you have to because you don't eat real eggs) ! Also, using butter to grease the pan makes the crust hold everything together more.