Mary J. Blige Just Fine

We all know the story about Mary J. Blige’s harsh beginnings, difficult childhood, and drug abuse that chronicled her personal life in the 90s. While we respect the struggle, we also have grown to love and appreciate the new and refreshed Mary who has traded “I’m going down/ ‘cuz you ain’t around”, and pleading to a man “I can love you better than she can”, for a woman belting out tunes like “no more drama” and “just fine”.

One aspect of Mary that stays true is her genuineness and ability to not get caught in the crazy music industry hype - something most artists are unable to escape. Mary does not sweat the small stuff. Mary is not a R&B songstress who discredits new and talented songstresses, unlike some singers we need not mention, Mary does not feel the need to mimic the younger singers, unlike some singers we need not mention, and most of all, she understands her legend and the power behind it. She doesn’t dilute the formula that made her popular in the first place by trading her image for a new one with each album. If Mary changes, it’s because she actually goes through a transformation, not because someone is behind her pulling the strings. Of course, she has sought out new sounds and tested her abilities to create new music, but all in all, she reigns true to herself.
Mary J. Blige’s new endeavor, a second perfume fragrance following her debut perfume My Life from last year proves she is further branding herself. Unlike some veteran R&B singers, Mary is not focusing on recreating her image with each album, or sounding like a knock off of another singer in the music industry. Perhaps, because she knows that those formulas rarely work. Instead, her formula is expanding her name and focus on other projects where she knows she can excel. She’s using her fame to inspire others to buy her product, and from what it seems, it’s a pretty damn good product. So all other veteran R&B singers, get a pad and take some notes.

Photo via HSN.com

How I Made a Karma Book

I don't throw out greeting cards. Now, that's not to say I know where every card I've ever received is - I don't. When I get new cards I display them; these cards I used are from a few years ago or so. I've wanted to do something creative with the dozens of greeting cards I've received over the years for awhile. Yesterday, I took an empty scrapbook, some edge scissors and cut out inspirational or positive messages people have written me in cards and make some "karma pages".

I didn't cut up ALL my greeting cards as some had very long messages, or had beautiful covers so I creatively incorporated those without cutting anything. I highly reccomend this for anyone who has a bunch of greeting cards and has no idea what to do with them. This took me like about 45 minutes.

My reason for making this is to collect positive words of encouragement and good wishes I've received along with some images for an artistic effect. I call it a Karma Book because it is filled with memories, words of encouragement and messages from some of the closest people to me (and some I was close to at one point in time), and somehow I've connected that with the idea of attracting positivity. You also can use any images or inspirational quotes you live by to fill the pages, I just started with what I already had.

Note: This is super easy. I am by no means a scrapbooker, or expert with arts and crafts, but was able to make it look pretty decent.

Materials: scrapbook 12''12, textured cardstock 12''12, decorative edge scissors, glue stick, and bond glue, greeting cards, old concert stubs, card cover images, etc.

Spicing Up your H2O

I love drinking water. I know some people find it bland or boring but I've never had that problem really though sometimes I do need a little flavor. Unfortunately, a lot of those "flavored" waters like Vitamin Water, (couldn't get enough of these in college!), have more sugar than they should and aren't really stocked with nutrients and vitamins like they claim. Now, I'm not even gonna lie, I occasionally drink Vitamin Water every once in awhile. I also like Arizona Tea Water that claims to be 100% organic tea, but I have always hated those fake tasting flavored waters that taste like water with just some sugar dumped in.

In college, I also got hip to spicing up my water in a natural and healthier way. I'd use a concoction of limes and cucumbers and put them in a pitcher of water (something I once read in an article that Beyonce did). It adds flavor but it also doesn't give that weird aftertaste that some flavored waters give. Sometimes I'd add a slice of lemon instead. It actually reminded me of these really good flavored waters Aldi's used to carry in orange, lemon, and lime that had the perfect balance of water and a hint of flavor.

Anyways, sometimes I really don't feel like chopping up lime and lemon or cucumbers, and unfortunately, sometimes if you leave them in the water for too long it becomes too acidic and not worth drinking anymore. So, as the picture indicates my new best friends for my water are just sprinkling some drops of lemon or lime juice in my water. It's less messy than slicing the limes or lemon and they are very low in calorie; the lime juice has just 1.25 calories per serving.

Cooking Chronicles: Quiche part 2

So, the first time I made a quiche in December it didn't go that smoothly. I think the culprit was that I didn't use real eggs and used egg substitutes (was lazy and didn't feel like getting a regular carton). So once I sliced, diced and threw everything together it took forever for everything to cook and for awhile it was really runny and I had to throw it in the oven to cook more. Despite falling apart a bit when cutting slices, it still came out really good.

Fast forward to June - my last quiche came out perfect. I used 6 real eggs, shredded cheddar cheese, turkey bacon (cooked beforehand), raw mushrooms, and spinach from a can and buttered the pan with a butter substitute and not an oil. It was the perfect texture and consistency, and I was pleasantly surprised after last time's fail. I cooked it for about 35 minutes.

My two cents on making a quiche: don't use fake eggs (unless you have to because you don't eat real eggs) ! Also, using butter to grease the pan makes the crust hold everything together more.

Kids will be kids?

Recently many of teens and younger children have graced headlines for unruly, disruptive and violent acts. One of the more publicized events was last year in the Philadelphia when Flash large groups of teens (Flash Mobs) gathered around some of the more popular businesses and restaurants of Philadelphia to cause ruckus, beat innocent people all in the name of "fun".

Legions of people have blamed the parents. Many have cited the absence of acceptable role models/fathers in the child's life as a reason for the poor behavior. I agree for the most part, however, I think the most blame lies in the fact that these kids have poor self-concept. You have to have a poor concept of self to want to wreck havoc on others. Something is not fulfilled or missing from you inside to make you make better decisions.

A group of 9-12 year olds from Southwest Philadelphia beat a 41-year-old woman in a horrific game of "catchin wreck" several months back. They even taunted the woman when she begged for mercy because she lost her son and can't take anymore pain. These were the same group of kids who also almost killed a 73-year old man previously when the assaulted him and stole his money, causing him to have a heart attack. Oh, and one of the 12-year-olds was pregnant. So what type of child do you think she will raise? Unfortunately, in that case I doubt you could even rely on the child's mother as clearly something was allowed to go on that resulted in this child's pregnancy. And if you know your child is pregnant at that age, why continue to let her go out and get into more trouble?

(Disclaimer: when I say "they" or "kids today", I don't mean ALL kids, but many. I know there are good kids out there) There is a generation gap; the new kids have a lot more anger in them than ever before. They're mean, they're ultimate bullies and clearly have no concept of right and wrong. All kids make mistakes. When I was a kid in the 90s', a mistake was cheating on a test, hitting your sibling too hard, breaking your mom's vase, sneaking out the house to go play, drinking underage. It wasn't beating people to death, robbing, raping, assaulting, etc. The phrase kids make mistakes goes out the window with this.

They know what they are doing. The argument may be that their brains have not fully developed yet and they do not have the best judgement. I am much wiser now than at 15, and probably will be wiser (hopefully, lol) at 32 than now. BUT I knew what not to do at 14. I knew that causing harm to someone could get you put in jail, that my mom would be mad at me and I'd be embarrassed.

Many kids though, don't care. They have no concept of "what happens after I do this?" and it's scary. I could cite all the disturbing incidents of teen violence, even stats from the suburbs as well, but I'd be here all day.

What I will say is that we've lost our way. Especially with some inner-city youth. Many rely on ugly stereotypes about people of color to guide the way they act almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy. You live in Philadelphia and you have nothing better to do than cause problems? I lived in a small town where many things closed after awhile except for the local WaWa and the diners. We would drive around just talking, sit at the river or chill somewhere, so I don't want to hear the excuse they're bored. Yes, there probably aren't enough activities geared towards keeping teens busy, building leadership, etc., but what they are doing is ridiculous, causing people fear and is just downright embarrassing.

Sure, some parents probably had no idea where there kid was, they may have lied about where they were going, as many of us probably did as kids when we didn't want an argument. However, some of these parents are just as belligerent as their kids. Some of these parents are ready to fight or cuss someone out for what they deem as disrespect in a second, so what can we expect? Some of these parents encourage their children to fight someone who disrespected them. I wish I didn't have to say that, but there is an influx of parents who really don't "parent". I won't pretend I know what it's like to have kids because I do not have any yet, but if you can't properly teach your child to be a contributing member of society, don't have any. There's enough problems with children running around thinking they are invincible because no one checks their behavior at home.

"You Owe Me"

"You Owe Me" isn't just the commercial rap song effort from Nas featuring Ginuwine in 2000, it's what his soon-to-be former wife, and mother of his child, Kelis, is singing all the way to courthouse. In July, Nas was ordered to pay $55,000 a month, but now the singer and her lawyer are saying it's not enough.

I awoke today to a friend's status stating the news regarding Nas/Kelis and a variety of tweets on twitter regarding it as well. It was apparently a discussion on Hot 97 and according to dimewars.com here's a breakdown of what Kelis requests:

- Nas pulls in $244,826 a month
– Kelis rakes in a relatively paltry $13,744 a month
– Kelis should get child support totaling $17,225 a month
– Kelis should get spousal support totaling $72,728
– Nas should pay retro child support totaling $29,522
– Nas should pay retro spousal support totaling $281,571

I'm not a mother, or a wife, yet, but have a few words regarding this. We know Kelis's career hasn't been as acclaimed as Nas's has been. When she first emerged on the scene in 1999 she garnerered some buzz: she had a funky sound that was not quite R&B, not quite pop, she was eccentric with wild hair and had some in-your-face songs that brought variety to the music landscape. In the years following Kelis hyped up her mainstream appeal with hits like, "Milkshake", and "Bossy", but still hasn't matched up with Nas in terms of record sales, performing consistently and mass appeal.

It should also be noted that Nas, who is a big name in Hip-Hop and a veteran as far as the genre is concerned, doesn't have the mainstream following of someone like Jay-Z or Lil Wayne. I'm not an accountant and saying he can't afford all of this, but since he isn't selling like Lil Wayne, or creating business partnerships and running other entrepreneurial endeavors like Jay-Z, and is getting older in age, how long will that be the amount he earns per month. With that said, Kelis has every opportunity to supplement an income on her own merits.

She just gave birth, but as an entertainer I'd assume she'd eventually want to work more on her music career. I won't pretend to know what she is going through or what she's thinking, but this issue just seems to be more about obtaining more money that finances actually needed to sustain her lifestyle. Just a thought.

Her demands are pretty excessive. I'm sure her lawyer is pressuring her to make these requests, but she's making the spousal support and child support system look like it's supposed to be a cash fairy. I don't know the details of their relationship and of course speculations point to supposed infidelity, though Nas maintains that he was a good husband - far from perfect he admitted, but a good husband.

I'm not a celebrity so maybe I don't understand the dependecy of luxury to feel "comfortable", but if she is making that "mere" $13,000 a month and that is combined with the $55,000 she already set to be receiving from Nas, that is enough to provide a very lavish lifestyle for herself and her child. Retro-active child support when the child has only been in this world a month? Retro-active spousal support? Please. Kelis, I know you did not walk away from the relationship with no money in your pockets, and I did not hear any reports of you being with a home, kicked out of your home, or unsure of where to lay your head at night.



I guess Nas is kicking himself for not having a pre-nup. For the average couple, a pre-nup is not always something necessary, but if either party makes an extensive amount of money, or both do, for that matter, you should have one - just in case. It doesn't mean your marriage will be doomed or you are entering with doubts, it's just insurance. Many people go through their lives, fortunate not to be in a car accident, but they need it - just in case. We can't control others' decisions and actions and sadly, sometimes people become strangers to us, so you must protect your assets.

All I can say is things are about to get uglier. At a time where the focus should be on their one month old son, Knight it's dedicated to bunting heads on financial matters, dealing with lawyers and fixation on money.

A Few of the Biggest Movie "Haters"

Hollywood in Love Jones (1997) - Played by Bill Bellamy, Hollywood was that guy in the group of friends who always had a sarcastic remark not because he was witty, but because deep down he was a hater who lacked the intelligence, creativity and overall personality his buddies had. All of that manifested into the fake confidence and cockiness of Hollywood's persona.

His punk move: Taking out Nina after her and Darius broke up and intentionally bringing her to a party where they'd run into everyone, which made her look like an official homie hopper. After instant embarrassment, Nina asked him to take her home where he adamantally refused telling her to walk. But just when Nina was about to her walk home Mr. Lovehall (Darius) saved the day (or night.)





Debo in Friday (1995)
You couldn't have anything with Debo around! Not a bike, not money, and certainly not a backbone, which is what Red found out one unfaithful day. We all remember that when Red tried to get his "borrowed/stolen" bike back from Debo he got hit.

Punk move: Hitting his girl, but Ice Cube had a remedy for him. A royal beatdown on his lawn cheered on by neighbors tired of Debo terrorizing the neighborhood.













Remy in Higher Learning (1995) - In every sense of the word, Remy was a "hater". After being shunned by social crowds and laughed at his first semester in college, he eventually found comradery with white supremacists which set off a chain reaction of unfortunate events in the provocative film focusing on race, sexuality, and gender.

Punk move: Shooting on Peace day and consequently killing Deja (Tyra Banks)










The Color Purple(1985) - Mister
Hateful, mean and obviously eternally pissed off he didn't get to marry the prettier sister and had to "settle for Cielie"

Punk Move: Inviting Shug Avery to live with him thinking he could have his cake (served by his live-in servant/wife Cielie) and eat it too. Eventually moved by motivation and learning that her sister had been writing her years, she breaks the bonds of years' mistreatment.













Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)- Patrick
In this unique film which explored love, neuroscience, memory loss, and fate, Patrick is at the center of it all. He uses the old notes and memories of Clementine (Kate Winslet) who comes to his company to get her memory erased , and her boyfriend, Joel, (Jim Carrey) to lure her into a relationship using the advantage of knowing the intimate details of her past relationship.

Punk Move: Believing his plan would work. Although at first, he managed to woo her by using recycled memories, she eventually started to feel that something wasn't quite right. The film was a good portrayal of fate because though both their memories had been erased Clementine and Joel eventually met again and start dating only to discover they weren't the strangers they thought they were.