I've slowly began to accept the idea that if a person has a problem with me that's their problem, not mine. I know, it's not rocket science but it's a hard thing to practice. We all care what people think about us, but we all know that we can't make the whole world happy, fine. Yet, sometimes I'd find myself trying to rationalize why a person isn't nice to me one day when they usually are, or why someone has this imaginary issue with me that each time I see them they avoid eye contact. These mysteries that I debate over in my head are just not that worth it. I've learned to keep it moving. That doesn't mean I don't notice when a person is acting a certain way toward me, but if I attempt to be civil, and know I've done nothing wrong I really don't give a flying vampire bat about it.
You have to learn not to care. That's hard for a person like me who likes genuine relationships, and I'm not a people pleaser but I like to communicate even if briefly with most people. I must say I've even gotten better at small talk (hold the applause).
I've decided to ease the burden off my shoulders and my mind. Of course I care about my reputation and how people view me, but when a person has no reason to have an issue yet creates one with me with passive aggressive antics I choose not to care. If I offend someone or did something wrong bad enough they decide to act like they don't want to be civil, then they can be adult enough to discuss it with me. It's not MY problem even if it's directed at me. Sure, I can address it but I've learned not to make it my issue.
I have TOO many problems to overcome than to take on someone else's problem even if their problem is with me.
Interesting-people are strange and it's even stranger how moods can be as contagious as a cold. Sometimes it's like we have to put up an emotional wall to block other people's vibes-good or bad-just to protect ourselves. Also it's easy to take people's behavior personally-after all, everything is about us right? LOL but in reality there is stuff happening behind the scenes in a person's life that we may not even know about and so in reality it has nothing to do with us at all. I guess the secret is to know when it has something to do with us and when it doesn't. Our conscience is really the only one who can tell us that (if the other person doesn't offer the info) and then it's up to us to make peace with that person or ourselves. I can be a people pleaser but that doesn't necessarily mean people are going to like me either. They may just view me as a wimp and lose respect for me altogether...or simply be jealous of my pleasing ways. I guess the most important thing is to like yourself (as selfish as it sounds) because you definitely can't depend on others to like you, as a matter of fact they may not even know the real you.
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